Journey’s End

Kayla, my academic counselor who has inspired me on more than one occasion, called me a couple weeks ago to let me know if I changed my program focus from cyber security to software engineering I could graduate almost a full year early. This would also save me roughly $15k.

Of course I agreed because I’m going to college to get a bachelor’s degree; the program certification I receive is irrelevant to me. I’m going to be bogged down quite a bit by extra classes over the next several months but I should graduate by the end of July.

It’s bewildering… it seems like not so long ago that I was hiding beer bottles under my bed and peeing out of my bedroom window so that nobody would hear me go to the bathroom. College was certainly not on my mind! Now here I am about to graduate and, hopefully, begin a career in a field I eagerly desire to be a part of.

Writing here has taken more than a back seat in my life… one could say it’s not even in the car anymore. I still intend to update this blog when the mood suits me and it’s conceivable that I’ll find an interest in writing in the future. I’ve simply realized that writing was always a way for me to indulge in the megalomania and sociopathic narcissism that came with all of my flaws such as addiction and inaction. Now that those are dissolving before my eyes, I just don’t care about expressing myself to people who don’t know me.

Some day I’d like to publish academic articles and possibly a book or two which aren’t at all focused on me but I don’t know that I’ll ever return to the mental illness that gripped me for most of my life which compelled me to talk about how brilliant I was and how stupid everybody else was. We’re all the same.