I had a rough few weeks from mid-March until last week. Lots of procrastination, depression masked by amphetamines (prescribed, don’t worry), and general malaise. It can always be worse, of course. I still received A’s on all my class assignments, I finished a complete redesign of a file system at work, and now I’m in charge of training a new employee because I’m the only person qualified to try. Unfortunately I’m not being paid for any of that extra work, but kudos are nice too.
I’ve been sleeping very poorly for a year, at least. No matter what time I go to bed, I get about 5 hours on a good night. If I go to bed early, planning on having a good day tomorrow, I end up waking up 2 hours before I’m supposed to. Why not just stay up late and get more done, then? Waking up early is usually worse. The morning is when I have enough energy to act on all of my crazy impulses. This morning at 5 AM I bought two new synthesizers, a portable phone charger, and a VR headset. Now, I could quite easily justify this. I’ve wanted to check out VR for years and now it’s affordable enough and stable enough to be worth it. Music is my only real hobby (gaming isn’t a hobby it’s just putting off the things you really should be doing) so getting more gear is genuinely enjoyable long-term. The phone charger… well… I guess I didn’t really need that 😂. Side note I finally looked up how to use emojis on a desktop. My life has forever changed.
Even after all of that I’m still writing this thirty minutes before I even need to leave for work! I’ve already washed my sheets, filled out my planner, started my final class project… hmm I actually got a lot done so far today.
Maybe insomnia is lit after all.
P.S.: Oh, I met someone online and she’s amazing so far. She’s gorgeous, intelligent, and has a real job. She lives in New Jersey so we’ve only had “video dates” but that’s at least better than texting. I guess Hillary Tan was right.