Yes, ladies and gentlemen (mostly ladies), it’s time again for our protagonist to throw himself into the dumpster fire of online dating. What could possibly be different this time than from all of my past failures? Well, for one, I created an account only because I thought of a hilarious tag line and it’d be a shame to waste it. I think it’s hilarious anyway. I suppose one would need to know the context to think so.
It turns out it’s kind of working, too. 1 hour in and already 11 likes (but no matches so they’re not from women I’m actually attracted to) which is far more than I’ve ever received during an entire month-long run of using a dating app. Perhaps I also look healthier and happier now than I did in my older, post alcoholic photos. I feel like I’m over that hump of early sobriety where I identify as someone in recovery and now I’m just a normal guy. I also had a theory that you look more genuine when you smile if someone else is taking the picture. It’s difficult to just smile for no reason, but if someone else is there it looks like you’re actually smiling at a person instead of taking a narcissistic selfie. So I’m never posting a picture of myself that wasn’t taken by someone else again. Or at least, not one in which I’m smiling, haha.
So, I’m not taking it seriously at all. I did answer the “profile questions” honestly for a change instead of being a creep and trying to put what I think women would want. It was interesting to actually think about my answers for once. I skipped a lot of them because they were either extremely sexual or extremely political, and I’m not trying to be that person anymore. If you go on a dating site and start talking about feminism and transgender rights, well, that might be why you’re single, homegirl.
I didn’t do much today and I’m okay with that. I finished my chapter quiz for college so I won’t have to do any schoolin’ tomorrow. Sunday is laundry day for me so I’m working on that right now. I’ve gotten back into the hygiene routine I had last year which consisted of an exfoliant and moisturizer and I have to say, it’s nice to have a perfumed face all day. For me. I don’t think anyone else can smell it. That’d be way too far into my personal space.